me

Monday, April 16, 2007

np: coldplay - the scientist.

today i was walking home from school at 615pm. it was dark already and pretty chilly. so there i was, walking, with my hands stuffed in my sweater pockets, my toes starting to lose feeling in my flip flops, the wind blowing my hair(which is now longer than it has ever been in all my 18 years) and oasis blaring into my ears as i maxed my ipod volume. and i felt peaceful, for the first time in many, many months.

and then, thoughts of my bio test, thursday's physics test, tuesday and wednesday's practicals, thoughts of my future, thoughts of the horrible nightmare i had last night, thoughts of the last 2 years that i completely wasted entered my head again and the peace was just shattered. it was really quite depressing for a couple of minutes. i remember the exact lyrics that were playing.

cos maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me

today's bio test...it wasnt all doom, gloom end of the world, but i know it could have gone better if i had put in more effort. story of my life! and the practicals coming up, especially bio. i'm dissecting a rat. don't even get me started on the nerves i'm feeling. and i have a mountain of reading to do for tmr and wednesday, plus study for thursday's phys test. its all a bit too much man.

add to that, the fact that i had almost zero sleep last night. had a pretty bad recurring nightmare that woke me up thrice in 5 hours. i was literally drenched in cold sweat. my cedar tee that i was sleeping in was wet and cold by the time i woke up at 7 to take a shower. it was my first nightmare in a couple of years i think. not sure what brought it on. anxiety? who knows.

had to have 2 coffees to stay awake today, thats how crappy i was feeling. but chem tut and earth science lecture went well, not to mention bio lecture, where we've started zoology. now THIS is what i'm interested in. animal anatomy, physiology, behaviour. THIS SORT OF THING. not cell biology and botany. today, when the lecturer was explaining the reasoning behind certain animal behaviour, i found myself instinctively supplying answers that i thought might be right (in my head of course, i dint voice anything aloud) and i was really happy when most of them were right. i felt like finally i was learning something actually worth knowing(to me at least) and that made me happy.

went out with my sis and hk on friday. we were eating at the train station and sitting at our table was this very elderly man in a suit eating a banana and iced coffee. he made some small talk with my sister and he was such a sweet old man. and suddenly, i missed my grandma. haha it was a fleeting feeling that comes out of nowhere occasionally.

ok i know this is a completely, random all over the place entry. but i needed to let off some steam. its all good, its not like im really sad or anything, just a bit stressed.

you know what's making me happy tho? football. another win for manchester united. we're going to wembley.

another thing that's making me happy: my dinner tonight. i had a bowl of kellog's frosties.with no milk. twice.

np: snow patrol - run

posted by kiki @ 4:05 AM

3 Comments:

At 7:37 PM, Anonymous said…

i love you darling! hang in there..all the best! -navleen
At 4:43 AM, Just In said…

Hang in there kiki u noe its all gonna turn out fine! Good luck wif all those test coming up! :)
At 5:49 PM, The Fringe said…

Omg you poor thing. We should have lived together mannnn.. crap. Okay next year we live together and I'll drive to uni everyday. (:

HUGSS